Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
