That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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