I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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