No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
