All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
