I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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