I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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