i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
