you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
