i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Randomize
