What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
