I didn't shave. On purpose
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
