he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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