Don't you send me to vm
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
