Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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