i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
