I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
