Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
