I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
he high fived his dick after we had sex
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
