I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
