I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize