Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
my liver is dry heaving
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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