You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
