your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
