i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
it glows. i had to have it.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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