4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
