His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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