Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
