If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
