goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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