I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
