once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize