I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
