I must be too annoying 4 u.
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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