I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
