i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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