I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
no, he came in my armpit
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
