I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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