Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
