just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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