If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
