btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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