Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
