I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
