yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
