I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
