The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize