New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
