Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
