I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
