ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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