how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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