I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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