Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Randomize
