I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
