I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
