need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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