we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
