I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
