i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
