don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
