My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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